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Wednesday, 25 November 2015

A Light-hearted Moment

In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and spinach, together with other green, yellow, and red vegetables, of all varieties, so that Man and Woman would live long, and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream, and Magnums. And Satan said; "You want hot fudge with that?" And Man said; "Yes!" And Woman said; "No, thanks. I'll have have a bite of his!" And lo, they gained 10 pounds.

And God created the healthy yoghurt, that Woman might keep the figure that man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

So God said; "Try my fresh green salad". And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said; "I have sent you healthy vegetables, and olive oil, with which to cook them".

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks, and chicken fried steak, so big, it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat, and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin, and sliced the starchy centre into chips, and deep-fried them in animal fats, adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds, and thickened his arteries.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a Cable TV, with Remote Control, so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed, and cried, before the flickering light, and started wearing stretch-lycra jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories, and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds, and the $4.00 double cheeseburger. Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied; "Yes! And super size 'em'!" And Satan said; "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then .......... Satan chuckled, and created the National Health Service.


After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages, and fats, and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full-fat cheese, drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.


Eat, and drink, what you like. Speaking English is, apparently, what kills you.

note: Author unknown. Thanks, anyway.


Thursday, 19 November 2015

The 'Margarita'

Preparation: - < 5 minutes


  • 2 tbspns / 1 nip x Tequila
  • 2 tbspns / 1 nip x Triple Sec
  • 1 cup x Lime Juice
  • 12 x Ice Cubes


Blend all ingredients until ice is crushed. Pour into prepared glass, tipped with sugared-rim.


Wednesday, 18 November 2015

Fruit Cocktail

Preparation: - around 5 - 7 minutes

  • 1 cup x Pineapple Juice
  • 1 x Banana - peeled, and chopped
  • 1 x Orange - peel and pith removed - then quartered
  • 1 cup x Soda Water
  • 2 tbspns x Passionfruit pulp
  • handful of crushed ice

Put the Pineapple juice, Banana and Orange, into a blender and whizz, until well-combined.

Add the Soda Water, and ice, and blend for another 10 seconds.

Stir in the Passionfruit pulp, and serve.

*Suggested boost, would be an alcoholic beverage, such as a white Jamaican rum.



Preparation: - About 1 hour to 1¼ hours + standing time (24 hrs)

Ingredients: - Makes approx: 1.25 kgs (3 lbs)

  • 1 Cauliflower – divided into very small florets
  • 1 Broccoli – divided into very small florets (optional)
  • 3 large Onions – peeled and chopped into a small dice
  • 8 large Shallots or 16 small Onions
  • 1 Cucumber
  • 600mls (1pint) White-Wine Vinegar
  • 300mls (½ pint) Malt Vinegar
  • ¼ teaspoon chopped dried Chili
  • 350gms (12ozs) Caster Sugar
  • 50gms (2ozs) English Mustard Powder
  • 25gms (1oz) ground Turmeric
  • 3 tablespoon Cornflour
  • Salt and Pepper


After cutting the Cauliflower, and Broccoli (– if using), into very small florets, peel and cut the Shallots, or Onions, into a 1cm (½ in) dice. Place in a bowl, sprinkle with 25gms (1oz) of Salt, and leave to stand for 24 hours. Afterwards, rinse in cold water, then dry.

Peel and de-seed the Cucumber, and cut it into 1 cm (½ in) dice. Sprinkle a little salt, and leave it to stand for 10-15 minutes. Rinse in cold water then dry and add to the Shallots, or Onions, and Cauliflower.

Boil the two Vinegars together, with the Chili, and leave to cool for 30 minutes. Strain through a sieve and discard the Chili.

Mix together, the Sugar and the remaining dry ingredients in a bowl. When the Vinegar is cool, mix a little of it into the dry ingredients.

Bring the vinegars back to the boil, pour it into the Sugar mixture, and whisk until it is all blended together. Bring this mixture back to the boil for 3 minutes, then simply pour over the vegetables and mix well. Leave to cool.

The Piccalilli is now ready and will keep, refrigerated in sealed, sterilised jars, for up to a month.

* Hint: Some people prefer a softer Cauliflower and Broccoli (– if using), in Piccalilli, so steam the florets for a short time, until they are slightly softened, and allow to completely cool, before placing in the Salt for 24 hours! (Optional)

* Note: The word ‘Piccalilli’ comes from an early (1694) Indian recipe for a pickle called: ‘Pickle Lila’, which was very similar to this recipe.


Creamy Zucchini Sauce

Preparation: 20 - 30 minutes


  • 3 tbspns x Olive Oil
  • 60gms x Butter - melted
  • 3 x Zucchinis - sliced
  • 2 x Onions - chopped
  • ¾ cup x Cream
  • ½ cup x Grated Parmesan Cheese
  • ¼ tspn x Ground Nutmeg
  • Freshly Ground Black Pepper

* Note: Smoky Bacon, or Pancetta, can be used, as well.


Heat the oil, and cook the sliced zucchini and onions, for 4 - 5 minutes, until tender. Set aside to cool.

Transfer mixture to your Blender, and add remaining ingredients. Blend until well combined.

Return to the pan, warm, and season to taste.

Serve immediately with your favourite pasta.


Spicy Peach Sauce

Preparation: 10 minutes

  • 1 Large Can x Sliced Peaches - undrained
  • ½ cup x Ginger Wine
  • 2 x Garlic Cloves - peeled and diced
  • 2 tspns x Grated Ginger
  • 1 x small Red Chili
  • 1 tbspn x Lemon Juice
  • 2 tbspns x Sweet Sherry
  • 2 tbspns x Honey
  • 2 tbspns x Light Soy Sauce


Place all ingredients into a blender, and whizz until smooth.

Goes very well with grilled chicken.


Saturday, 14 November 2015

Mango Smoothie

Preparation: Less than 10 minutes

  • 2 x Mangos - ripe, peeled and sliced
  • 1½ cups x Yoghurt - plain, unflavoured - pref. Low-fat
  • 1 cup x Orange juice
  • ½ cup x Milk - Low-fat
  • ½ tbspn x Honey
  • ½ cup x Ice - shaved or crushed


Place all ingredients in a blender, until contents are smooth.

Serve immediately.


Monday, 9 November 2015

Panini - with Corned Silverside and Tomato and Chili Relish

Preparation: 10 minutes


1 x Panini bread bun - with Pumpkin Seeds.
2 x slices Corned Silverside
Tomato Relish
Pepper and Salt


Slice and toast the Panini, lightly butter, add the sliced meat and spoon the Relish on - as thick as you can handle. Season, if desired.